Photo by billow926 on Unsplash
When I was little
I always wondered
what it was like
to be homeless?
I always wondered
what it felt like
to have nothing?
It feels like
I don’t matter
anymore.
I feel hopeless and
I can’t complete anything
I put any effort in anymore.
I feel like a pebble that
never wanted to be skipped in the water.
Feeling hopeless
for the first time
feels like my life is ending
with nothing
but depression and sadness
and seeing the nicest people on the planet
hitting rock bottom hurts me.
Before my Godmother passed away
she told me “never give up,
keep moving forward and
make your Godmother proud.”
So, I keep trying even
though I wanna give up.
I have all the sadness
but why do I keep a smile on my face?
Because of writing.
Writing is a gift.
Writing is like using
my own imagination and
transforming it into my own world.
I never wanted to be rich and famous.
My life goal is to be a good father to my kids.
I never had a father.
I always wanted a dad,
but I did not get the kind of
good father that I wanted.
School here in Pioneer is a gift.
People give me smiles and laughter,
but the hard part is leaving school.
It is a curse.
Going to a homeless shelter
is like entering someone’s home,
but you never were invited.
Everyone doesn’t like each other
and everyone is divided.
Everyday in the shelter is a riot,
but I gotta keep moving,
gotta pass by it, and
one day it’s all gonna be over.
I might be homeless,
but I will be that Golden Pebble
skipping the surface and
reaching the end of the pond.
There will always be pros and cons,
but I will always love my classmates bonds.
Whether they know or not,
I care for each and every one of them.
I hope we all move forward;
complete our objectives;
and we ain’t just of bunch of rejects
that most of us feel like.
We are not rejects.
We are strong individuals.
Without my friends I would have given up,
but they gave me all support I needed.
They made feel me like I was home.
Here, at Pioneer, I’m home.
My friends touch my heart
with their stories.
Now, I know I’m never alone.
We all are Golden Pebbles,
skimming the surface,
trying to reach
the end of the ocean.
Words from the Author – Juan Gonzalez
At the time I was really struggling. Now I find myself at peace. I had very bad thoughts and mentally it was very hard to choose my next path.
Revision Decision:
I was feeling low. I wasn’t doing any school work really, but when i found a good home I was able to move myself forward and pass my classes and get my first job.
Once again, I’m so thankful to have been able to meet you and work with you this school year Jon. I can’t imagine not having a Dad, losing my Grandmother, having to leave my Mom and friends and venture to a new land, a new community and a new school.
I’m sure you feel great sadness, especially when you were in the homeless shelter, but you never gave up, like your Grandma taught you. I’m so grateful that Pioneer emerged into a safe haven for you and a bright spot, a fun place to grow in, just like it has for me. You’re being groomed to go out and help others, just as folks around Clare have helped you. We’ll never forget you Jon, you’re one of a kind, keep smiling, keep dancing and keep laughing!
Thank you for sharing your world with others. We must all work hard to learn what it feels like to live in someone else’s shoes. This was powerful on so many levels. Thank you and stay strong. Your words can heal so many.
Thank you for being vulnerable with your feelings. Your poem really expressed your feelings. I am so happy you have made strong connections with your classmates and you can encourage each other when times are hard!